Home of Wheaton Bible Church's Quarterly Magazine
As a young person, I loved God but felt as if I didn’t know Him very well. Our family went to church regularly. I was taught to honor God, and I kept trying to be good, but I never believed I could ever be good enough to deserve God’s love.
After college I married a man my parents didn’t approve of. I continued to attend church but often went alone. I was in emotional pain and burdened because I felt I had disappointed my parents and had disappointed God. I finally stopped going to church because I felt as though I didn’t belong there anymore. I had no one to turn to and felt desperately alone.
One day, when my first child was an infant, I was trying to put together a flower arrangement without success when the Avon lady came to the door. All the frustrations of my life were overflowing in tears. She took time to come in and help me.
She stayed for a while and told me how important I was to God. She told me that He loved me and wanted a relationship with me.
I wasn’t sure I believed her, but it was good to hear.
We studied the Bible together for more than a year. Slowly I began to see that what she said was true. One day I finally got it that I was important to God and that He wanted to forgive me, and I accepted Christ as my personal Savior.
My transformation as a Christian didn’t happen immediately. Within three years, my second son was born. And even though I attended Bible-teaching churches and was active in Bible study and children’s ministry, I wasn’t at peace. I was trying to be a good wife and mother, but emotionally I was barely making it through each day. I felt that God had turned his back on me.
My marriage was in chaos—my life was in chaos—and instead of trusting God, I relied on myself. I felt that if I tried hard enough, I could make my marriage better, but eventually my husband and I divorced.
It has taken many years, but I realize now that even though I made some terrible decisions, God never left me. He has been faithful and has been with me all along. I am learning that whatever is going on in my life, I can rely on Him to be with me and see me through.
As a result of my experiences over those years, the words of 2 Corinthians 4:16–17 have a special meaning for me:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
I learn more about God’s love and faithfulness every day. Life still has challenges, but I continue to pray and put my will in God’s hands day by day. Today I am married to a good Christian man. Together we’re growing in knowing our Lord more intimately and relying on Him daily.
Lu currently serves as a member of WBC’s Front Door Ministry team—you can find her at the Welcome Desk on the first and fifth Sunday mornings of each month—and as a volunteer with the Monday night Caring for Kids support-group ministry. She and her husband, Larry, attend the Sojourners Adult Community.